A New Outlook.

This isn’t a too long revelation of life and love and the pursuit of happiness, OK?

Here’s what it is. It’s Saturday night. I am at home (lame or?), laying in bed. Kinda hungry but too lazy to go get food from the kitchen. Just here in the silence. Thinking. I hate this! I hate sitting here letting my thoughts run rapid. Literally if you want to know what it’s like to be in my head, imagine like 500 different movie scenarios of how my life will pan out all simultaneously playing at once and I’m sitting in the middle of my brain just screaming. It’s really fun. But anyways, so that is happening, currently. Annnddd I’m rambling…

Then I get on facebook and I see a verse though and this just sparked a huge flame in my crazy daisy heart.

Psalm 25:7- Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good.

I have two points to make then you can all go back to your Netflix.

First, I am rotten. I am seriously a mess. I fail ALL the time, mostly in school lol but I fail at other stuff too. Like being a good friend, daughter, sister (ask Payton and Grayson, I fail at that a lot), everything. I am so selfish. And so sooo jealous it’s embarrassing. I am always over dramatic about, like, everything. In short, I am kind of the worst,

That’s me. That’s my dirty laundry. There is a lot (a lot a lot a lot) more too, but come on I’m not gunna give away all the goods in one post.

who I am and what I’ve done and and the paths I have taken has made me this spazzy, go lucky, wild child kinda girl, and then Jesus came and wrapped that up in an amazing Grace and Freedom and Hope that I will never be able to comprehend. He really is the best, and He sees the best in me, always.

Sooooo with all of that being said, let me bring part one to a close. I need to start seeing people like that. Seeing them with God’s love instead of my judgey outlook. Seeing the best, always.  I wanna look at the ugly pasts and the dirtiest secrets of people’s most hidden parts of their hearts and love them all the same, or love them even more for it. I want to hug their necks while we talk about the broken pieces. I want to meet them right where they are. I want to wipe the tears. I want to be the one that doesn’t walk away, but instead, pours love and compassion and grace over them.

And part two of my thoughts on this verse is, this is goals right?! I mean who doesn’t want a husband or boyfriend or whatever to be like “yeah you have a flippin crazy past and it kinda freaks me out not gunna lie and even now you’re kinda iffy, but there is something about you babe and I see the goodness of your heart and the love that flows from everything you do and goodness gracious I adore you.” I mean seriously. GOALS. or standards, whatever. This is what I want my next relationships to be like, on both sides. That is really really exciting to me hehe.

And so it begins. Seeing the good, always.

xx. Austyn


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