Double Dog Dare

Today, I am daring myself to do some hard stuff. I am challenging myself to just be happy.

Gosh that sounds so simple and silly when I write it out and say it out loud. But I think it’s more than that. There is more to happiness than just a smile and a happy heart. I think there are steps to take, choices to make, a certain outlook on life that leads to happiness.

So today, and everyday these are some of my new dares for myself. Wish me luck ~

Today I am daring myself to care. Maybe care more than anyone else, maybe care too much, maybe I’ll be the only one who cares but I am going to. I am going to reach out to people, ask questions about their lives, give them my undivided attention. I am challenging myself to care more.

Today I am daring begging myself to lock fear out of my life. There are days that fear walks into my heart and wrecks it. Literally my own fear comes and breaks my heart. The saddest thing is, I don’t even put up a fight! I so easily give fear the reigns of my life and that obviously hold such a grip onto my happiness. It stops me from caring, loving, showing up. I am challenging myself to suffocate fear as soon as it creeps in and instead, I will flood my heart and mind with thoughts of love and power and peace. Remembering truths and blocking out fears and insecurities completely.

Today, ya’ll- I dare myself to dance over small triumphs! I want to be so excited about the little things in my life that people think I am crazy! I want to look around at all that is falling apart but only actually see what is beautiful and blessing me. I want it to be so outspoken too. I want to literally dance over the fact that my crazy lion mane hair looks good today or these jeans aren’t too tight or my coffee tasted perfect this morning. I want to say and believe that yeah my car may break down in a few minutes but I have better music to jam to than anyone else on this road. I want to be over joyed about little compliments and friends and just where I am in life. I want to stand in this desert  and know that there is a river somewhere. And i won’t stop until I find it. And then I will dance in that river!

This won’t be easy- these dares and challenges I have for myself will not be a piece of cake by any means. It will be an uphill battle. But if I can just conquer one of these ideas today, well I just think that would be something to sing and dance about!

Sooo here I am, determined to find reasons to dance.

xx. Austyn

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Here Goes Nothing

This is my blog. I am writing a blog. I have started my own blog.

I feel like I am seriously not cool enough to say any of those things. I know in my head, a blogger is someone who wears cute baggie flannels and knits cutie winter hats and sits in really hip coffee shops and bears their soul to their macbook. I, on the other hand can barely rock a flannel, definitely cannot knit, and I don’t even own a macbook (or an iphone but that’s a different saga). I am too spazzy and spacey. I can barely talk, much less write my thoughts. I am far too distracted to sit and write, to be still…

But here I am, 11:04 on a Tuesday, sitting, being still, writing. I have wanted to start a blog for a long long time, but I am the girl who is too scared to post a selfie because I don’t want people to judge me or see who I am. This, my friends, is so much scarier than posting a selfie. In my head, a blog is revealing a raw part of myself to all you (or maybe no one LOL who knows really). I am petrified. But none the less, I feel like there’s this bigger, louder part of me who wants to shout from the rooftops the mess that goes on in my head. Maybe someone will get something huge out of these random, sporadic posts or maybe this will give ya a good laugh cause I am pretty weird and not at all normal. But really, I just want to get these thoughts out of my head. So what better way than to post them on the world wide web, right? Right! Okay!

So with allllll that being said, here goes absolutely nothing. My prayer is that somehow, Jesus will make a breakthrough in someone’s heart with these words. That I may be His scarred hands typing away my thoughts, ideas, worries… and that through my mess, He may reveal His message.

xx. Austyn